Some Idiot's Guide to Omniknight

Introduction

Hello one and everyone! Safecyn here, bringing you a guide to...

CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUUUUUUUUUCK NORRIIIIIISS!

There's only one s in that name, you know.

It's for added awesomeness, I don't expect you to understand.

Sure. Whatever. Anyways, hey everyone. I know it's been a while since I've put out an actual guide, and I've actually been working on a few that I've never gotten into publishable state. I got really close to an Undying one like, three separate times, and then Icefrog decided to rebalance him. Every single time I was about done. So many number tweaks and... ugh. Maybe it'll yet see the light of day, who knows.

I'll bet Chuck Norriss could have written three separate guides on Undying before Icefrog had done even ONE rebalance.

Well, a lot of people could. Remember how long it took 6.84 to come out?

Zing. Anyways, this was a guide?

Oh, right! Omniknight! He's a hero who comes and goes in the competitive scene depending on the meta, and right now he's actually been gaining some traction as a solo off-laner. Which is good! I'll go into why it's good in a minute. He's a hero that can have an incredible presence both in the lane and in teamfights, casting clutch heals to save a carry or dishing out insanely powerful nuke damage that stays relevant far longer than most. He's also a priest who, if you read the backstory, is tasked by an alien to kill other aliens that are trying to murder it. So that's pretty awesome and Lovecraftian.

An alien tried to murder Chuck Norriss once. The resulting roundhouse kick created the Big Bang.

Those jokes... are so dang old... stop dating yourself.

Someone has to.

Ah... aw, that's... ouch that's sad.

And do remember, this guide is just suggestions based on my own experiences and understanding of the game, and shouldn't be followed to the letter. Being able to adapt to your specific game is what separates the pros from us rank amateurs. Feedback is appreciated, as long as it's constructive!

Pros and Cons

Pros Tanky support with great starting armor and good sustain Powerful abilities that stay relevant throughout the game Flexible laner PURE damage AOE nuke for teamfighting and wave clearing Good high-ground defense, especially with Aghanim's Good harassing in lane Every one of his spells affects Siege Creeps Good chasing with above average move speed and Degen Aura Massively powerful ultimate that can turn teamfights People with red beards are awesome. Trust me.

Cons Poor INT gain on a mana-dependent hero. Poor stat gain in general Low health for a strength hero Easier to harass in lane, cuz' melee. Guardian Angel can be purged Repel can be purged Poor play/mis-clicks can completely screw your team No hard lockdown No escape mechanism Doesn't use roundhouse kicks ever

Safecyn Reflects

Oh my, a guest? It's been so long! Please, do have a seat. I'll have Safegren fetch some tea.

You really made this a thing?

Shh, we can have our little spat later, there's company. Behave.

Grr...

Ah, I see you've come to discuss the Omniknight. An interesting fellow, Purist. As one who is usually played as a support he doesn't want to steal farm from his carries. Yet it benefits his team immensely if he gets a solid income, more so than most supports I'd say. A curious conundrum!

As I mentioned earlier, some professional teams have begun to experiment with off-lane Omniknight, which I readily endorse! With a built in slow and heal he has all the tools required to keep himself alive, and can even use Repel to attempt to ward off stuns and burst damage. The problem, of course, is that if caught out at all, particularly at earlier levels, there's not terribly much he can do to escape if he DOES get jumped on. The earlier levels of his abilities are simply not enough to compensate for enemy numbers and lock-down advantage.

Mid-lane poses a similar problem when it comes to getting caught out and killed, though at the very least it can be a safer option for getting him up to level 6 quickly. He can be quite strong against other melee midlaners like Bloodseeker, Pudge, or the occasional Alchemist and Slark, but against truly dominant laners like Queen of Pain and Storm Spirit, he stands little to no chance of getting anything done.

Well alright then, what do you suggest? And where the heck is that tea? I could use a cup of Earl Grey right about now.

In good time, impatient one. I'm sure Safegren is simply ensuring it's properly steeped.

Consorting with the kitchen staff again, more like...

Shush. Now, there IS, of course, the option of hard support, safe-lane Omni. It's quite powerful and Purist can get by with relatively little if he absolutely has to. However, seeing how useful Omniknight can be with a decent amount of farm, particularly early on, it's not insane to run him as a safe-lane farmer... if the game allows it, of course.

And just what do you mean by that?

Some of the most successful games I've played as Omniknight have been when our one position carry was a mid-lane farmer like Outworld Devourer, or a jungler like Lone Druid or Lycan. Not only does this allow Purist to get up an Arcane Boots and Mekansm remarkably fast, but the combination of him and another safe-lane support makes for some terrifying kill potential. In one game, I had a Slark so terrified that he'd run whenever I got close to him! During the laning phase, at least.

I stress, however, that this is something you CAN do that works well, NOT something you should insist on when playing Omniknight. If there is a Faceless Void or Anti-Mage on your team that needs the safe-lane, give it to them. Support them. Keep them alive, this is what you're good at. You can always make a Vladmir's Offering and head to the jungle later if you desperately need farm.

Seriously though, where's my Earl Grey?

Today's an ***am day, you know.

Oh. I guess I'll put a pot on myself.

You don't like ***am? How uncultured.

Skills

Instantly heals a friendly unit and damages all nearby enemy units.

Cast Range: 700
Damage Radius: 260
Damage: 90/180/270/360
Heal: 90/180/270/360

Cooldown: 10 Mana: 100/120/140/160

Priests of the Omniscience are adept at removing impurities from fellow warriors.

Notes:

This is your bread and butter, right here. Your lox and bagels. Your milk and ***am.

You're not going to let that drop, are you?

NO! I'd never drop a rich cup of ***am, that's more wasteful than casting Mystic Flare to try and kill Huskar.

I bet Chuck Norriss could kill Huskar using only magic.

PURIFICATION! It's a good skill. It's one of the best single target heals in the game, with the added benefit of nuking the **** out of everything nearby your ally. Note that is just allies, so you can use it on creeps as well as your teammates. You can use this spell on your creeps to help push, to farm the wave, or to harass your enemy laners when they go up for a last hit: wait until they get close to the creep that's low and BOOM. Golden light wrecks their face AND makes them miss the last hit.

It's important to remember that this spell does full damage to enemies no matter how much it actually heals, they're separate values. This means that you shouldn't shy away from casting this on yourself to secure a kill on enemies... provided you're close enough, of course. Always remember: the range of the damage is somewhat small, and you can't cast it ON enemies, so someone has to get up close and personal for your nuke to do anything. You can cast it on your siege creeps though! Important to remember, fo sho.

One final thing to keep in mind is that this nuke does PURE damage to enemies. This means that no matter how much magic resistance an enemy stacks up, they'll still take the full 360 damage from this spell! Which means... oh god..

CHUCK NORRISS CAN KILL HUSKAR WITH ONLY MAGIC. I WAS RIGHT.

MOVING ON!


Creates a divine barrier around a target unit which grants them Spell Immunity and 100% resistance to Magic Damage.

Cast Range: 500
Duration: 6/8/10/12

Cooldown: 14 Mana: 50

When faced with the pit of sacrifice, Purist's resilience to magic was tested and affirmed.

Notes:

This spell used to be the bane of a lot of Omniknight players' teammates. For one, casting this on a teammate WILL prevent you from healing them with Purification, so if you're late with this and only get it on your carry when most of the spells are gone and they really just need raw HP? It'll get them killed.

This spell also used to be a blanket dispel, removing all buffs and debuffs from your allies regardless of where they came from. This meant that you could actually remove Guardian Angel from your carry if you cast it on them, which led to Purist doing more harm then good sometimes. This was changed all the way back in 6.81, but it's still pretty fresh in my memory. I've been playing this game an uncomfortably long time XD.

Here's the breakdown on how this skill works now. In addition to making the selected ally magic immune, it removes buffs and debuffs placed by enemies, but not allies. The only exception to this rule, as far as my research can tell, is ghost form from Ghost Scepter, so try to keep that in mind.

ALSO keep in mind, while you're clicking this thing around, that Repel affects ALL UNITS. This means you can mis-click and put it on a creep (including your siege creep), or worse, mis-click and put it on an ENEMY HERO. You may wonder why the skill is coded this way, but the fact that it is allows Omniknight to make some interesting plays that basically no-one else can.

Say an enemy Kunkka is defending his base by casting X Marks the Spot on himself and clearing the creep wave. His ability to pull himself back to safely regardless of whether he's stunned makes this pretty difficult to push against if he has enough farm. Omniknight, on the other hand, can just cast Repel on the Kunkka when he comes into vision, dispelling X and forcing him to stay around and die. You can also use the spell in combination with Song of the Siren, singling out one enemy hero to focus down while everyone else has to watch in horror.

Well that sounds broken as all hell.

Yet I've never played against it once. The general mantra with Repel is 'don't cast it on enemies ya noob', so I understand why, but... still kind of a shame.

Lastly, this skill has a dirty little secret. It might prance around and act like it's one of the cool kids, granting magic immunity like Rage or Black King Bar, but secretly it isn't perfect magic immunity. Not quite. Secretly, shamefully, Repel can be purged. Shadow Demon and his ultimate, Diffusal Blade... heck, if an ally uses Eul's Scepter of Divinity on themselves, the magic immunity goes bye-bye. It also gets removed if the affected hero targets Razor with an ability, because Unstable Current is apparently a purge! Who knew, amirite?

Certainly not you.

Of course not me, I forget Razor exists half the time. There's like five other lightning based heroes in the game already.

Enh, fair enough.


Greatly degenerates the movement and attack capabilities of enemy units that stray too near, including Spell Immune enemies.

Radius: 350
Move Speed Slow: 10%/18%/26%/34%
Attack Speed Slow: 10/18/26/34

The holy embodiment of Purist Thunderwrath is enough to weaken those of lesser faith.

Notes:

This skill is both extremely powerful and criminally underrated by a lot of players. Granted, it used to kind of suck, so there's reason behind that, but now it's insanely powerful. Think about it for a second: it's a slow that's active ALL THE TIME as long as Omniknight is close to an enemy. You can't purge it. You can't get rid of it by going magic immune. If Omniknight is close to you, you just can't run. Well, I mean you CAN. Just slowly. Ineffectively. If you instead decide to turn and fight, surprise! This skill slows attack speed as well. Have fun.

Degen Aura combos well with Orb of Venom, which is why I suggest buying it early on, especially if you have a gankier comp which, let's be honest, you do. Because it's 6.84, the era of Gyrocopter, Queen of Pain, and Earthshaker. If you have a super aggressive line-up and your team needs more crowd control than burst damage, it's not completely crazy to max this ability first for the extra slow.

It's also not completely crazy to SKILL this ability first. I know I suggest putting your first point in Purification and, in most games, this is probably a safe bet. But it's flexible, so always wait to skill. If, when you go and scuffle for the 0:00 minute rune, you think you can get first blood on an over-extended enemy, Degen Aura can give you the extra time you need to secure it.

Oh, and as always with Omniknight, this ability affects siege creeps. Take that, catapult! Not so fast to tear down towers now, huh?


Omniknight summons a Guardian Angel that grants immunity from physical damage.

Radius: 600 (Global*)
Duration: 6/7/8 (8/9/10*)

Cooldown: 150 Mana: 125/175/250

The All Seeing One casts down his protection over those that Purist calls friend.

Notes:

First off, and I know this is just a pet peeve of mine, Icefrog, but WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THE MANA SCALING OF THIS ABILITY? Between levels 1 and 2 you establish a precedent that an additional one second of physical immunity costs an additional 50 mana, so why, WHY does level 3 of this ability cost 75 MORE MANA? It's still only another second! WTF, man?

You done? Has angry nerd calmed down yet?

Yeah... yeah, I'm good. I'm ok. Anyways, this is the ability that makes Omniknight a pub-stomper. This is an extremely annoying skill to play around, especially for your carries that do nothin' but right-click like Ursa, Faceless Void, Templar Assassin, etc. Eight whole seconds where your team isn't hurt by right-clicks! How is that balanced?

Well, for one, it's only physical immunity. Casting this ability won't save anyone from Laguna Blade or Pulse Nova, and won't stop your team from getting hit with Reverse Polarity or Black Hole. Second, the range (without Aghanim's, of course) is decently small, and in order for Omni to hit his entire team he has to be closer to the fray. Now, Omni wants to be close to the fray ANYWAYS, but this does mean that the enemy is more able to initiate on you and burst you down before you can cast any of your teamfight winning spells.

Lastly, just like Repel, Guardian Angel CAN BE PURGED. I don't think I can stress enough how Diffusal Blade is a hard counter to this hero. And Shadow Demon! Heck, because the skill doesn't provide magic immunity, even Eul's Scepter will purge this thing.

The Aghanim's Scepter upgrade on this ability is way too good to pass up, so if you have any kind of farm and there isn't a specific item you need to counter the enemy team or complement your carry's skillset, you absolutely want to spend your money towards that. A global range on this ability is insane, as it affects all your creeps (yes, including siege creeps), all your buildings, and all your allies on the map regardless of where they are. Ten seconds where all your lanes push unless the enemy team goes and contends with the waves. Ten seconds of unbreakable high ground. With Aghanim's Scepter, Omniknight no longer has to risk being in the middle of a fight, and can stay out of the way of huge initiation spells, then cast Guardian Angel to make said initiation useless.

It's good, ok? If you can get it, get it. You're welcome.

And SPEAKING of items you should get on Omniknight...

Ooh. A forced transition into the next section. Such writing skill, wow.

Shush.

Item Progression

Right off the bat, I want to clarify that this build is for the non-5 Omniknight, the farming support, in other words. Omniknight can, 100%, be played as a position 5, and the build for that is under tab #2. It's pretty self explanatory, you get Arcane Boots and Ring of Basilius to sustain your mana pool, and then go for either a Mek or Vlads in between buying wards. You can still have a big impact on the game with just these few items and your skill-set, so if you're playing Omni and your team needs a 5 role, absolutely do it.

That being said, here's how I like to build Omni when I'm allowed to farm a bit, or if I'm just doing well in teamfights and getting kill gold:

Starting Items

The goal of these starting items is to provide Omniknight with as much flexibility as possible in the early game with a good mix of mana and health regeneration, as well as a nice solid chunk of armor from Ring of Protection that complements his already high starting armor. Eight armor at level 1 is no small thing, which is why, if you do have to buy Courier or Wards even though you're not the five role, I'd actually suggest skipping out on buying the Mango, not the Ring.

The Enchanted Mango is a great item for heroes like Omniknight that have high-cost abilities that they can normally only use once in an early scrap. The HP regen is nice, especially if you're in the off-lane, but don't hesitate to pop it and get the extra mana if you can save a teammate or secure a kill.

Lastly, it's important that you use your Tangoes to heal in lane before Purification: the heal isn't efficient at early levels and if you spam it early on, you're going to have a hard time staying in lane when your mana runs dry. If you're forced to run back to base, that's valuable XP that you're missing out on, so be thrifty with your resources.

Early Game

and maybe

Mana sustain is the name of the game, making Arcanes a no-brainer. Ring of Basilius upgrades nicely from your Ring of Protection and provides mana regen and armor to your lane buddies as well as yourself, and will even build into Vladmir's Offering later on if you want to head that route.

The Orb of Venom is completely optional, but a strong pick-up if you can afford it. Between it and a max level Degen Aura, you can slow an opponent by almost 50% without wasting a single drop of mana. Pretty dang cost effective, if I do say myself.

Core

and OR

Once you've built your early game items and have some levels under your belt, you should be able to afford the mana cost of Mekansm no problem. It gives a nice chunk of armor to a hero that's already difficult to take down with right-clicks and that HP regen aura will save teammates more often than you think, to say nothing of the burst heal the active gives. With this and Arcane Boots, the way to your GG Greaves is laid out before you.

But before you start considering those, don't forget your Aghanim's Scepter. I think I already made a pretty good case for buying those up in the Guardian Angel section, so I won't expound more on that here. What I WILL say, though, is that the decision of which item to go next should entirely depend on what kind of game you're playing, there's no hard and fast rule for what to get in every game.

Why's that? Well, while Aghanim's Scepter just gives more to Omniknight in general: stats, pushing ability, high ground defense, it's also significantly more expensive than just buying the recipe for Guardian Greaves after you've gotten your Arcanes and Mek. This is why the items are listed in both the core AND luxury slots on the guide, it can really go either way.

To help out with your decision, I'll provide a handy flow chart. Maybe you'll alt-tab to it! Maybe not! These are just some of the things I think about when deciding what to build on Omni.

1) Is another player on your team building a Mekansm? Yes--> Don't buy a mek and go straight from Arcane Boots to Aghanim's Scepter. No--> GO TO 2.

2) Is your team snowballing and are you bathing in money Scrooge McDuck style? Yes--> Go for Aghanim's Scepter while you've still got excess cash. No--> GO TO 3.

3) Are the enemies composed mostly of physical damage dealers or magical damage? Physical--> GO TO 4. Magical --> GO TO 5.

4) Is there a Clinkz or another hero on the enemy team that either has a silence ability or will probably buy an Orchid Malevolence? YES--> Buy Guardian Greaves. Activating it will purge the silence off of you and let you resume team-fighting. NO--> Buy Aghanim's Scepter. Ten seconds of physical immunity against physical damage is a no-brainer.

5) Are your cores buying magic resistance items to counter this, or do you have a hero on your team that is buying Pipe of Insight or is a Rubick? Yes--> Go ahead and get Aghanim's Scepter. It's worth it for the creep pushing and high ground defense. No--> Get Guardian Greaves. The emergency HP regen and the burst heal, combined with your abilities, should be able to hold the day.

This isn't completely comprehensive, of course, but hopefully it gives you a solid foundation. When you've completed one of these two items, you're done, technically, having all you really need. On to luxury now.

Luxury/Situational Items

Aghanim's Scepter/ Guardian Greaves: You already got one, why not buy the other? Whichever item you didn't buy is still a super good item on Omniknight... heck, if you look at the flavor text on GG Greaves, it actually talks about the Omniscience! Jus' sayin'.

Refresher Orb: What's that? Is the stupidly long duration of Guardian Angel somehow not enough to keep your carries from being right-clicked down? Wouldn't it be great if you could somehow DOUBLE the duration? BOOM. Refresher Orb. Combined with Aghanim's Scepter, you get a full twenty seconds of physical invulnerability... as long as you stack it properly. Like, you gotta wait for the first one to expire before casting the second one or you're going to waste it. Unless you're specifically countering a Shadow Demon using multiple Demonic Purges during a teamfight in which case... dang. That's pretty pro.

Heart of Tarrasque: Omniknight is a pretty tanky support, but his strength gain doesn't quite measure up to other strength based heroes. While his high armor and his ultimate means that this isn't really a problem against right clickers, against high magic damage like Lina and Leshrac, he can get a lil' melty. This item will give you a huge chunk of raw HP if all you need to do to live is survive an onslaught of spells when they're off cooldown. Even gives you damage. Woo?

Octarine Core: While this item was extremely over-hyped when it was announced, it's still a solid item on a lot of heroes as a late-game pickup, and Omniknight is no exception. It gives him a much larger health and mana pool, which he loves, and allows him to keep Repel up constantly on an ally thanks to its cooldown reduction. The best benefit of the item in my opinion, though, is the more than THIRTY SECONDS shaved off the cooldown of Guardian Angel, 37.5 if we want to get specific.

Solar Crest: This is probably the best item in the patch. It's so dang flexible! Reduce an enemy carry's armor and make them miss, or buff your carry's armor and give them evasion. It's so good! Plus the armor, evasion, and mana regeneration don't go to waste on Omniknight himself, either. This is an item that should be on your radar in general when you're playing 3 or 4 position, there aren't a lot of situations where getting it is a bad idea.

Scythe of Vyse: An item that's good on almost every hero because... well... it's a sheep stick. Say goodbye to your mana problems if you pick this bad boy up. Oh and, I guess the disable if pretty good too. If you're into that sort of thing.

Vladmir's Offering: Another item that should be on you radar in general as a 3 or 4 position, though it's not as ubiquitously useful as Solar Crest. The aura will benefit your entire team when fights break out, thanks to the lifesteal, armor, and damage it provides. Vlad's even lets Omni jungle pretty decently, which can be great for farming up a larger item down the road.

Pipe of Insight: Are you playing against a Zeus? Leshrac? Venomancer? Do you wish there were a way you could live through the ridiculous amount of magical damage they put out? Look no further. Be sure to use the Barrier active before team fights breakout, because... it freakin' blocks 400 spell damage! FOUR. HUNDRED. That's a lot, if you weren't aware. The item in general also provides a magic resistance aura now, so you can essentially be your team's Rubick with this, except tankier and actually a decent hero to put an aura on.

Assault Cuirass: Stacking armor on Omniknight in general is a pretty nice idea, helping his serve as more of a tank against right clickers, and the attack speed and armor degen aura this provides is moste-excellante. If you've got the farm and your carry could benefit from having this without it taking up a slot in their inventory, it's not absurd to buy this.

Black King Bar: If you're playing a game where Guardian Greaves don't seem like the item you need, but you still have to purge silences off you in order to cast your spells, BKB is great. If you're playing a game against a lot of magic damage and you need to live long enough to get off your spells, BKB is great! It's not an item you'll get a lot of the time, but it has its uses.

Glimmer Cape: This item also helps with the 'surviving through a ****-ton of spell damage' thing, with the added benefit of invisibility and the FURTHER added benefit of being able to cast it on your teammates to save them. Awesome support item, for sure. Don't ever forget about it.

Lotus Orb: Armor, health regen, mana regen, all things that Omniknight loves, for sure. But there's two main reasons you'd pick this item up, and those aren't them. 1) If you cast this item on yourself or a teammate, it dispels negative buffs, so this is another way you can remove silences in order to cast your spells. 2) Echo shell is freaking hilarious. Who doesn't want to kill Lion with his own Finger of Death or Sniper with his own Assassinate?

Shiva's Guard: Armor and an increased mana pool, an aura that reduces attack speed and an active that slows movement speed and deals damage. It's FREAKING AWESOME. Shiva's Guard is, in my personal opinion, one of the best items in the game, and synergizes extremely well with Degen Aura. It's good. Definitely consider it. It's not flashy, I'll admit, but still: it's friggin' amazing.

Blink Dagger/ Force Staff: Omniknight has pretty much zero capabilities when it comes to retreating or initiating, so a mobility item isn't a terrible idea. Both work just fine, but I favor Force Staff as it's the more defensive of the options, giving you a semi-guaranteed escape while also increasing your HP regen and mana pool. Blink Dagger is definitely the more versatile and aggressive of the options, and it is PRETTY AWESOME to blink on top of someone and finish them with Purification after it looks like they've gotten away. You're essentially a golden, glowing bomb at that point.

And that's it! That's all the items, thank goodness, time to move on.

What about the carry builds? There are carry builds up top.

NOPE, MOVING ON. DONE HERE.

But...

SHHH. Don't encourage anyone to actually USE those!

Then why did you...

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Allies and Enemies

These heroes can head into the off-lane with Omniknight and help set up one of my favorite harassing tools: the inviso- Purification. Simply have your invisible hero stand next to an enemy, then heal them to inflict massive damage. Works particularly well with Bounty and Boord who have slows to stack with yours, turning these cheeky moves into kills. Just be wary that this won't work as well if the enemy buys detection.



Omniknight is a great babysitter in general, and will really help safe-lane carries like Void, Spectre, and AM stay in lane and get their farm and XP. But this isn't about that. This is about blinking on top of people and using Purification to inflict ridonkulous pure damage. The babysitting thing is awesome too, though. Helps win games fo sho.



Omniknight excels at keeping people alive, so it only makes sense to pair him with heroes that do more damage the longer they're alive. With Naga Siren, there's even the awesome Song of the Siren/ Repel an enemy trick to capitalize on during team fights.



All heroes who have mana issues in the early and mid games love these two. In addition, they're most commonly run as the five position supports, meaning that if you're in a game with one of these guys, you're getting some of that sweet farm. Who doesn't love that?




Heroes with a lot of magical damage will completely ignore Guardian Angel, making Omniknight a lot less effective at saving his allies' lives. They're also capable of bursting him down regardless of how high his armor is, which isn't good. At all.



Heroes that can silence Omniknight before he can use his spells in teamfights will reduce him to a very stylish, red-bearded creep. Prioritize your Guardian Greaves when going against these heroes so you can dispel yourself and cast spells.



Anyone who can jump on you or pull you out of position makes playing Omniknight a harder task. Especially before you get your Aghanim's Scepter, since getting separated from your team mean you might have to use a one-man Guardian Angel to survive a gank, leaving a huge amount of time where your team can't benefit from it.



Purges and dispels. They remove Guardian Angel. They remove Repel. They're the bane of your existence. Comprende? Bien.

Conclusion

And we're done! And without as many Chuck Norris jokes as I expected, actually, that's... huh. This turned out pretty ok.

Chuck Norriss turned out pretty ok once. Just once. Every other time he was absolutely perfect.

Ok, ok, I'll bite. What was the one time he only turned out pretty ok?

When he was born in a military helicopter 10,000 feet in the air, dropped by a doctor after he took an anti-aircraft shell in the groin, and then fell all the way to earth into a camp full of NAZI ZOMBIES. His true-life adventures are chronicled in the Call of Duty games, but they replaced him with four random losers in order to make it multiplayer.

That... was awful. What kind of joke has such a ridculously long and convoluted build-up and punchline like that?

Your guides, usually.

Touche.

On a serious note, thanks all of you for reading this guide. I'm open to suggestions and constructive criticism, so feel free to call me out on what I messed up!

Safecyn, signing out.