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Forge of Creation #3 - Voting !

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Forum » Hero & Item Ideas » Forge of Creation #3 - Voting ! 44 posts - page 4 of 5
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by BKvoiceover » October 15, 2014 11:24am | Report
Alright, so cuttleboss will finish his later. Now we're just waiting on Smuggels.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by kkoopman3 » October 15, 2014 12:43pm | Report
I was left off of Terathiel's and Yzreel's fyi.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Yzreel » October 15, 2014 1:45pm | Report
kkoopman3 wrote:

I was left off of Terathiel's and Yzreel's fyi.


Sorry bout that, just edited mine :D
My hero ideas
Yzreel Hero Arsenal

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by TheSofa » October 15, 2014 3:48pm | Report
Cuttleboss wrote:

Well, I finally finished this annoying assignment I had this week, and I'm recovering from sickness. Let's do this.

Unscathed
Relationship: 8. References to Dota universe, but ethereal and cool enough to exist on his own.
Length: 8. Good length, not too long.
Originality: 9. Definitely like the poem format, its nice that you did something different. I like the depiction of Enigma as an omnicidal galactic conquerer.
Coherence: 7. Some of the meter is weird, and the poem does not perfectly flow. Otherwise, this is fine.

Comments: Good submission. Fits the mysterious and scary Enigma hero, writes him like in the view of the victims of him.


ThreadofFate
Relationship: 7. There are mentions of the Dota world, but Chaos Knight's abilities and what the Chaos is seems like it might need an explanation, or more of a hint.
Length: 8. Good length. Story is nice and concise.
Originality: 8. Guy gets enslaved into chaos? Sure, that works.
Coherence: 8. The amount of paragraph divisions was a bit noticeable, made if feel more personal than the story actually was.

Comments: I like the way you wrote this with the descriptions and all, however, parts of the story feel missing.

Terathiel
Relationship: 8. Damn, I never saw Tusk as so brutal that he would try to gouge out a dude's eyes and hand them as a trophy.
Length: 10. The amount of story for the amount of text is basically perfect.
Originality: 8. It's not that different from the existing story, however, I do like the origin of the eyepatch.
Coherence: 9. This is well written and descriptive.

Comments: I like the idea of this, you're good at putting together short stories.

Porygon361
Relationship: 9. Lots of references to his abilities, and other parts of the Dotaverse.
Length: 8. It's long, but never feels too long or tiring.
Originality: 8. Lots of fighting, lots of wizard battles. Nothing too new, but still a fun take.
Coherence: 10. Well divided, all paragraphs connect well.

Comments: This is really good work. Nice job. Carl would be amused.

Yzreel
Relationship: 10. References to Titans and Night Stalker's bros? Re-inventing Zeus so he's actually fitting with the lore of Dota instead of feeling like a guest character from Greek Mythology? Yay.
Length: 9. Nice and short. Good amount of story in that duration too. maybe a bit too short tho.
Originality: 8. The first light seems like it was taken by Keeper of the Light, but this does make Zoos seem cooler, doing stuff instead of lounging around banging mortal women.
Coherence: 8. This flows pretty well. There is not as much description as I'd like however.

Comments: I enjoy making Zeus into a bit more like Invoker. I like this direction for the character.

Smuggles
Relationship: 8. Change Orcs, and you would've had a 9. Perfect explanation of his signature skill and origin of name.
Length: 6. Ohhh, this one is long, and unfortunately, being dialogue driven means that it can feel quite long.
Originality: 10. I'll give you full points here, because Axe as a meek dancer is really a great idea.
Coherence: 8. Not too difficult to read.

Comments: I respect that you took a different approach and I do think this is good, unfortunately, it simply did not match Wulf's criteria.

Oh, class is starting,

Me? :C

TheSofa
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Smuggels » October 15, 2014 5:08pm | Report
ok sorry for the lateness we had a scrim and i completly forgot to post this.
BUT NO EXCUSES ....

Also guys i APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE because these are really ******** harsh in some areas.

Unscathed (i hold you to a higher standard so i expect perfection young sir!!!)

R:5
L:6
O:9
C:4

Comments: ok so baric poems have a certain requirement for their structure which you lapsed in some places. lines should be around 6-10 words long, the wording overall was good but the transitions were sloppy and the prose should be cleaner. the idea was awesome i like the way your challenging yourself. though id look at the flow from stanza to stanza. the relationship was nice ties to the greater Dota2 universe would have higher up there. coherence falls victim to what ive explained above. originality i was going to givve you a 10 but i feel that the whole being of massive destruction wanting to kill everything has been done to death. the main reason for some low scores though was the fact that a poem just doesnt fit in with dota, no where in the whole universe do we see a poem and in none of the lores do we have one. apart from those things the fact that you went a completely different direction to everyone else gives you a

SMUGGELS SCORE : 10

THREADOFFATE

R:8
L:7
O:6
C:5

reasons: soo the many comments and ties are amazing good job. the only negative in that respect would be maybe a slight hint to some other aspects of his skills or foes? lengths was nice. originality was ok i kinda was just left wishing there was a wow line or paragraph. coherence failed in some sentance structure and flow.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 7


Tera

R:7
L:7
O:5
C:8

reasons: man that first paragraph would have beeen so ******** amazing if you had some exposition in there. "Meat Rots, Flesh decays and all that is left when the meat(some exposition here would have been AMAZING) is in the ground is a person's reputation" the relationship is nice but maybe too shoe holed i would have liked to see some diversity. originality fell through on the fact that it so close to the original story.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 7 (so wanted that first paragraph to pop)

Pory

R:8
L:5
O:8
C:8

reasons: great read good flow the paragraph and sentence structure worked could have lost a sentence or two that weren't needed. relationship was really good for some reason i felt the dota2verse was there all around him where in other submissions i didnt ...which is weird. the coherence was really good i would have looked at some of your wording choices though. length let you down but hey look at my lenggth what do i know hahaha

SMUGGELS SCORE: 8

Yzreel

R: 7
L: 8
O: 8
C: 8

Reasons: all of it was smooth concise and well thought out. the flow was restrained but steady. structure was complete though a bit short. could have used some exposition. originality was great wished i could get a feeling of the puns though it would have been quite the .....shock.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 8 (I WANT PUNS DAMMNIT)

CUTTLE

R: 8
L: 8
O: 8
C: 3

Reasons: As good as this was i just couldnt get over the many wording problems and sentence faults. words that were swapped and in the wrong place sentences that started or ended weirdly. apart from that the actuall story relationship and length were really really well done but ******** that first paragraph has so much wrong in it.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 6

THEsofa

R:5
L:6
O:8
C:6

Reasons: oh sweet baby jesus did i cringe at this one. but still ... i didnt wanted to go on the feel train sofa ... why you send me on it ... is that tear in my eye? no no its not its raining... inside... yes inside.... lol aprat from that could have more dota2 sentences were ... smooth but flowed into each other not as well as they could have.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 7

KODY

R:9
L:7
O:6
C:6

Reasons: this was good. not much else. everything was ... good just not great. i wanted .... something BIG fitting to such a majestic creature as Magnus. the relationship was high due to the references but yea .. good.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 7

BK VOICE

R:9
L:7
O:9
C:9

Reasons: yea na *** it i loved this one. just an awesome read. had me from line one kept me till the end. only negatives was the transition from his home to out in the world. yes it keeps mystery but i wish the emotive language could have been a bit more .... emotive? haha

SMUGGELS SCORE: 10

KOOPPPSSS

R:6
L:8
O:6
C:6

Reasons: reading it i could see small errors but it flowed well hand some nice movement could have had a bit of i dunno ... connection to the greater dota2verse. length was just right for a lore. originality was kinda close. all round it felt nice but i wished it could have been better.

SMUGGELS SCORE: 7


i think thats everyone let me know if it isnt. :)

I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL.... WITH FLUFFY BUNNIES


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by KoDyAbAbA » October 15, 2014 5:24pm | Report
i should really start putting some time in making these submissions. but im stuck with this **** macbook and im always trying to install my old games and then crying when i realise that i cant ;_;

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Cuttleboss » October 15, 2014 5:33pm | Report
Sofa, I got you covered. :D

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by BKvoiceover » October 15, 2014 9:31pm | Report
Terathiel still has to put in his scores for kkoopman3, but after that I believe everyone will have their votes in. Until then, continuously listen to this.

Enjoy!

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 16, 2014 2:09am | Report
@Smuggles >I Immediately Regret My Decision
Don't Worry, Be Happy

Late credits to Janitsu for the sig

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Terathiel » October 16, 2014 3:29am | Report
I missed someone? o:o

My bad there. Also, sorry KoDyAbAbA, thought it was for Beastmaster. I'll rewrite scores accordingly.
There are two kinds of people in the world; those who can count, and those who can't.

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