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Forge of Creation #3 - Voting !

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Forum » Hero & Item Ideas » Forge of Creation #3 - Voting ! 44 posts - page 3 of 5
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Smuggels » October 14, 2014 4:49pm | Report
im about to post mine but btw SOFA u didnt mark YZREEELLLLLL!!!

I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL.... WITH FLUFFY BUNNIES


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by TheSofa » October 14, 2014 4:51pm | Report
Smuggels wrote:

im about to post mine but btw SOFA u didnt mark YZREEELLLLLL!!!

Who's "YZREEELLLLLL?"
I don't know any "YZREEELLLLLL!"
Must be a new guy.

JUST KIDDIN'

I didn't cross him off? Or I didn't give him a mark?

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Smuggels » October 14, 2014 5:10pm | Report
didnt give him a MARRRRKKKKKKKK!!!!

I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL.... WITH FLUFFY BUNNIES


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by TheSofa » October 14, 2014 5:10pm | Report
Smuggels wrote:

didnt give him a MARRRRKKKKKKKK!!!!

kk, fixed. Thank you you.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Terathiel » October 15, 2014 4:28am | Report
Sorry it's kinda l8, been a bit busy m8.

Unscathed
R: 8 - not really that many references to other Dotastuff, but Mad Moons are legit and it's the kind of lore that if you throw in references it sounds silly.
L: 8 - good length for a poem
O: 6 - it's a bit cliche'd, an ancient being of apocalyptic power with dreams of destruction.
C: 9 - I like how the pulse jumped around a bit. As a songwriter it was appreciated :)

ThreadOfFate
R: 7 - of course it happened on Diretide. Now we just need another Diretide, Volvo...
L: 9
O: 7 - Pretty standard affair, nothing too unoriginal, or special, so standard 7-mark.
C: 7 - it seems disjointed. Also, no real explanation of why Armageddon suddenly turns up.

Porygon
R: 9
L: 5 - I'm sorry, but it's way too long. I hate giving low marks but there really is no way around it.
O: 8 - I liked how you kept a lot of elements from his old lore, but added a phresh twist on them.
C: 10 - yeah it's perfect.

Yzreel
R: 8 - clever little references to Worldsmith and my good friend Balanar :)
L: 9 - spot on.
O: 9 - excellently done.
C: 8 - I found a couple grammatical errors and probably misspelt the word 'grammatical' myself.

Smuggles
R: 5 - orcs? I appreciate the Dota 1 stuff but it doesn't really fit.
L: 6 - like Porygon's, a bit too long.
O: 8
C: 6 - lots of misspellings, but generally good paragraph length.

Cuttleboss (I almost marked you down for that pun :P)
R: 9 - I don't understand the references to Nyx but I like how you made Abaddon a dark mirror of Omni.
L: 9
O: 8
C: 10

TheSofa
R: 7 - the second question actually raises more questions than it answers.
L: 8
O: 6 - rather cliche'd :(
C: 9

KoDyAbAbA
R: 9 - Nice rivalry!
L: 8
O: 7 - I'll admit to cringing a bit at the rather cheesy ending :/
C: 6 - lots of grammar mistakes.

BKvoiceover
R: 7 - nothing to do with Dota but it was a damn fine story :)
L: 8 - it was a bit long but was interesting enough to overlook.
O: 9
C: 8

kkoopman3
R: 8 - no direct mention of other Heroes, but a good explanation as to how he got to the Ancient War.
L: 9
O: 6
C: 9

I think that's it? :P
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by KoDyAbAbA » October 15, 2014 5:22am | Report
therathiel, i was supposed to write about magnus :)

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Yzreel » October 15, 2014 6:42am | Report
Unscathed

R: 7 (You did well in making relationships within the hero & skills, but I think the dotaverse is a bit forced into it)
L: 9 (Nicely weaved in, a wee bit too long but it's okay since it's a poem)
O: 10 (Full point for the poem idea)
C: 7 (Some sentences made me have a hard time reading it due to the different sentence length)



ThreadOfFate

R: 7 (Well.... Aside from the diretide I cannot seem to find relationship for his skills and him being a fundamental)
L: 9 (The length is nicely done, but seems to be a bit too short for each paragraph, thus having strange paragraph amount)
O: 7
C: 7 (Like said in length, the paragraph phrasing made it harder for me to read)



Terathiel

R: 8 (It's sort of standard, but the rivalry with Tusk is a plus point)
L: 10 (Perfect length, no other way around it)
O: 7 (Not that original, since the rivalry with Tusk had been implied in the real lore. It feels more like an expansion of the real lore)
C: 9



porygon361

R: 9 (Very nice job on making unique relationships with each spell)
L: 6 (Sorry about this one, you know why)
O: 8
C: 10 (Yep, perfect. I think)



Smuggles

R: 6 (Sorry, I just cannot find any relationship aside from Counter Helix)
L: 4 (This is just WAY too long)
O: 10 (Very original take on Axe being a... dancer)
C: 8 (I just cannot help but spot some grammar errors and misspell)



Cuttleboss

R: 8
L: 9
O: 10 (That observation for Abaddon's helmet... wow)
C: 9



TheSofa

R: 6 (Aside from the Spirit Bear, there is no relationship, and the bear itself bears no explanation. Pun intended)
L: 8 (Pretty good length, but the amount of dialogue is too much)
O: 8
C: 8



KoDyAbAbA

R: 9 (Nice relationship for the Reverse Polarity, and the addition of Beastmaster is not bad)
L: 8 (Although the paragraph is nice, I think some paragraph are too long)
O: 8
C: 9



BKvoiceover

R: 9 (I love the whole relations within the lore, but I think that you lac solid facts based on real lores)
L: 7 (Perfect paragraph amount, but each paragraph contains too much text for me)
O: 10 (I think it's great that you come up with your own background story, like the Faceless race and stuff)
C: 8



kkoopman3

R: 5 (I just cannot find any relationship between this lore and dotaverse, sorry kkop)
L: 6 (Sorry, but it is too short for me and the one paragraph barely explain anything in my opinion)
O: 8
C: 9


Well, that's that. Sorry guys for being quite late, my laptop starts to act up again and have to give some times for it to be fixed. Also, thanks Smuggles to remind Sofa lol.
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 15, 2014 7:14am | Report
Bk won. Nuff' said.

GG WP, good job.
Don't Worry, Be Happy

Late credits to Janitsu for the sig

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Wulfstan » October 15, 2014 8:57am | Report
Smuggles, your votes please. Cuttleboss as well.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Cuttleboss » October 15, 2014 10:27am | Report
Well, I finally finished this annoying assignment I had this week, and I'm recovering from sickness. Let's do this.

Unscathed
Relationship: 8. References to Dota universe, but ethereal and cool enough to exist on his own.
Length: 8. Good length, not too long.
Originality: 9. Definitely like the poem format, its nice that you did something different. I like the depiction of Enigma as an omnicidal galactic conquerer.
Coherence: 7. Some of the meter is weird, and the poem does not perfectly flow. Otherwise, this is fine.

Comments: Good submission. Fits the mysterious and scary Enigma hero, writes him like in the view of the victims of him.


ThreadofFate
Relationship: 7. There are mentions of the Dota world, but Chaos Knight's abilities and what the Chaos is seems like it might need an explanation, or more of a hint.
Length: 8. Good length. Story is nice and concise.
Originality: 8. Guy gets enslaved into chaos? Sure, that works.
Coherence: 8. The amount of paragraph divisions was a bit noticeable, made if feel more personal than the story actually was.

Comments: I like the way you wrote this with the descriptions and all, however, parts of the story feel missing.

Terathiel
Relationship: 8. Damn, I never saw Tusk as so brutal that he would try to gouge out a dude's eyes and hand them as a trophy.
Length: 10. The amount of story for the amount of text is basically perfect.
Originality: 8. It's not that different from the existing story, however, I do like the origin of the eyepatch.
Coherence: 9. This is well written and descriptive.

Comments: I like the idea of this, you're good at putting together short stories.

Porygon361
Relationship: 9. Lots of references to his abilities, and other parts of the Dotaverse.
Length: 8. It's long, but never feels too long or tiring.
Originality: 8. Lots of fighting, lots of wizard battles. Nothing too new, but still a fun take.
Coherence: 10. Well divided, all paragraphs connect well.

Comments: This is really good work. Nice job. Carl would be amused.

Yzreel
Relationship: 10. References to Titans and Night Stalker's bros? Re-inventing Zeus so he's actually fitting with the lore of Dota instead of feeling like a guest character from Greek Mythology? Yay.
Length: 9. Nice and short. Good amount of story in that duration too. maybe a bit too short tho.
Originality: 8. The first light seems like it was taken by Keeper of the Light, but this does make Zoos seem cooler, doing stuff instead of lounging around banging mortal women.
Coherence: 8. This flows pretty well. There is not as much description as I'd like however.

Comments: I enjoy making Zeus into a bit more like Invoker. I like this direction for the character.

Smuggles
Relationship: 8. Change Orcs, and you would've had a 9. Perfect explanation of his signature skill and origin of name.
Length: 6. Ohhh, this one is long, and unfortunately, being dialogue driven means that it can feel quite long.
Originality: 10. I'll give you full points here, because Axe as a meek dancer is really a great idea.
Coherence: 8. Not too difficult to read.

Comments: I respect that you took a different approach and I do think this is good, unfortunately, it simply did not match Wulf's criteria.

Oh, class is starting,

Alright, I'm back. Let's continue.

TheSofa
Relationship: 7. I see the relationship with the bears, but I feel like we need more explanation of what happened, and how Sylla has these abilities.
Length: 7. Oddly this is too short. Mainly because it feels like parts of the story are missing, like the bear bonding, and how the bear dies and seems to instantly come back.
Originality: 8. I like a lot of the ideas, and I like the focus on the relationship between Sylla and his familiar, it's just that this has taken a hit by being too vague.
Coherence: 9. This is very well written and I like your use of language.

Comments: Unfortunately, this has submission was hurt by a lot of the story feeling missing. I want to feel emotionally attached to Sylla when he bonds and loses his bear friend, especially with these good descriptions you're making but it all happens in a flash, so there is not time to feel emotions, which is what this submission was banking on.

KoDyAbAbA
Relationship: 9. Mentions his race, mentions his home, mentions his signature skill. Mentions Beastmaster. Everything is here.
Length: 8. This is fine and not an issue.
Originality: 8. I like you making a rivalry between Magnus and Beastmaster. It reminded me of that transition from Dota 1 and 2 adding the Kunkka Tidehunter rivalry.
Coherence: 5. Oh dear.... This is in serious need of punctuation and being separated into more paragraphs and capitalization, it made this very difficult to read.

Comments: I like the way you wrote about the Reverse Polarity, it was pretty damn cool, and you have a cool story to tell, but the execution and presentation was a bit off.

BKVoiceover
Relationship: 10. Lots of details on Claszureme, expanding its wonder and giving it one hell of a history.
Length: 8. This is long, but it is entertaining throughout with lots of details that somehow all felt necessary, so the length does not hurt you.
Originality: 9. Genius alien boy removes time from his realm to protect it forever. This is really out there for a fantasy game, but I like the execution of this idea.
Coherence: 10. Oh my god, this is so beautifully written. So much detail, so much imagery.

Comments: Fantastic work. I have nothing to really add.

kkoopman3
Relationship: 6. This one is so out there. Everything introduced seems so foreign.
Length: 7. Oddly, this one is kind of short and detached, with events seeming to happen very suddenly with no timeframe.
Originality: 8. This is simple, and it works well enough, a priest dude made ugly going around helping people.
Coherence: 10. This is well written and put together, very easy to read.

Comment: This one feels lacking in emotion, which is not always a bad thing, its much more in the vein of Dota 1 lores than Dota 2 lores however.

And I am done. What a fun thing.

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