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Aghanim's Scepter
Battle Fury
Assault Cuirass
Daedalus
Crystalys
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Lich is undeniably the finest character in all of Dota 2. Not just the best support, but hands down the best character. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let anyone tell you otherwise. Folks go round saying stupid **** like "Lich is not a carry" and "It's your job to buy the courier and do the wards" but these people are just flat out wrong. It is a sad fact of life that the world is full of fools so do not let them perturb you with their ignorance and jealousy.
So now that you have decided to choose Lich for all of your future games let's discuss the most effective way to go about proving all the nay-sayers and idiots wrong. Lich was personally designed by Gabe Newell himself to be the most powerful character in Dota as part of a troll against some of the other staff at Valve. The idea was to have Lich to be only playable by Gabe himself but Lich was too strong and broke free of his programming, making him available to everybody. Kind of like a good version of Jesus without the beard and with more awesome.
If you have chosen Lich you have already won the game for your team. To be honest you probably don't even need to do anything else after making this winning move as the morale boost in conjunction with the +500 passive buff that Lich gives to your team for just being in play is usually more than enough to send Vlad back to the motherland with his teenage bride and high class vodka weeping between his legs.
CONTINUE
Due to the fact that most people see Lich as a support character you will necessarily have to follow these initial steps to help educate the team and gain their respect as new leader:
1) Inform the team in chat that you will be playing Lich and that they will answer to you now
2) Inform the team that you will not be purchasing any couriers or wards and that you will not stand for any insolence with regards to making demands that are not compatible with this statement
3) Secure mid lane
Following the laying of the so called "ground rules" you may continue.
As Lich you will spend a lot of time chasing down enemies as they run in fear from your icy wave of buttery devastation. Start off by killing all the creeps in the middle lane. If you time your last hits right you will be able to accelerate time for Lich and travel forward in time to enter the end game by around the 3 minute mark. Of course you will not be able to finish the game in this point as that would create a paradox, so your only job here is to help out your future Lich-self (or should I say Lich-self) with clearing up the map. In some games you will notice that there are more than one time travelling Lich's taking part in the end-game. These are of course from future games that you have not played yet as Valve have not implemented this feature yet. If you meet your future Lich-self (or should I say Lich-self) then be courteous and try to stay out of the way. Barring brain injury or the collapse of the western world your Lich-self (but not your Lich-self) will be a more experienced version of you and will have everything under the highest levels of control. Once everything is sorted out for your team's victory travel back in time to around 4 minutes and use the velocity output from the return trip to launch your chain frost at the enemy team. The added inertia from time displacement should ensure that the chain frost manages to kill every member of the opposite team in one hit no matter where on the map they are.
There is not really much point in taking part in any actual "gameplay" per say between the 6 and 69 minute marks since victory is pretty much assured at this point. Take this time to relax a little. Pour a drink, catch up on some reading. Really, whatever you want. If you get bored then feel free to enjoy any one of the following delightful past times that Dota has to offer:
1) There will probably still be some ***hat wannabe delivering orders to the team, telling you to act like a support, and complaining that you are now AFK. What a fool. This kind of insurbordinance can be combated with the drawing of ****s on the mini-map, frequent requests to upgrade the courier (providing that the courier has already been upgraded) and detailed narration of the guy's mother's sex life over the microphone
2) Be the courier. Invent a name for the little guy (Horatio is a strong one) and a strong back story. Maybe a courageous and inspiring back story such as a gambling addiction or the menopause. Also follow people around. Everywhere. This also serves the added benefit of ensuring that people's inventories do not get too full.
3) Ping. Ping fast, ping slow. Ping high, ping low. Ping towers and players, and shops and frayers. Try to ping pings if you can. Do not ping pongs.
If the other team has not ragequit yet then it's finally time to make the last stand and claim your prize. Your past Lich should be here by now to provide backup for your finishing T move. That's right, LICH has a T move. It is unlocked by firing all of your other moves onto Roshan at the same time and then entering him. The opening to enter Roshan is very small so you have to be quick and decisive. If you and your past self (or should I say past self) can enter Roshan from both sides (i.e. port and starboard) at the same time then you can unlock the final T move "Bump". Roshan will erupt with ice and be fully under your control for the duration of the game. The move itself kills every other player on the map including your team but if you followed the earlier points about how to gain your team's respect then you will have no problems with being reported etc etc.
From here on in you have a number of options with that number being one. Glory. Take that base and make it your *****. Your Lich *****. Because you are the Lich *****. In a way we all are. And isn't that the point of Dota?
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