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The Great Goblin Jihad

August 9, 2014 by Ephringael
Comments: 0    |    Views: 3059    |   

Techies Terrorism

DotA2 Hero: Techies

Hero Skills

Sticky Bomb

9 12 13 14

Reactive Tazer

2 4 8 10

Blast Off!

1 3 5 7

Proximity Mines

6 11 16


15 17 18

Why Jihad?

Because the infidels have grown fat, lazy, gluttonous, and heretical. They have become a blight on the world, and Allah has selected you, Techies, to bring forth his heavenly judgement! Go forth, armed with explosives, select your target, and remove their unsightly face from this world. Do this, my child, and thou shalt be blessed with seventy two wind runners!

But, whilst I am dead, will I not fall behind?

No my child! For Allah has gifted you with the glorious Bloodstone, so thou shalt gain experience over thy enemy.

Also, should you have already exterminated one non-believer, the great Allah grants you the ability to martyr thyself once more, for glorious health benefits to be distributed to thy team.

I am the victim of racial profiling, thereby foiling my plans.

This problem has plagued goblin kind for many years my child. Fear not, however, for the true way has been revealed to us! Thou shalt go forth with the Shadow Blade to blend in with thy enemies. Use this well, for without proper training, you shall be able to mingle amungst them, waiting for thy chance to become a martyr.

I wish there was more I could do for the cause.

Mighty Allah is pleased with your devotion, and hears your pleas. Thereby he has granted you a Refresher Orb that you may double your efforts against the infidels, and bring forth a new age of peace and prosperity to the land.

As well, it will allow you to infiltrate more effectively, and provide the next gifts All Powerful Allah bestows upon you with more use.

Those blasted infidels saw me coming!

Not to worry, my child, for Allah has seen the future, and sends the Blink Dagger forth unto you, that you may rapidly correct thy path to thy true path. And all the infidels do cower like mice in the fields, as the owl swoops overhead, for they know at any moment you may strike.

But prophet, if they cower as mice, they may try to run.

This is known to Allah as well. Though they try to run it will be of no use, for Allah shall summon a storm forth from the heavens. He asks only in return that you carry a Scepter of Divinity in his name.

Now go forth my child, you have all that you need. Bring an end to these infidels and their lecherous lifestyles. Praise Allah.

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