Need Thoughts on Plot Idea

So here goes:

A woman named Amber bought an old convenient store from a man named Johnston Browns. It was a very cheap deal and although sound fishy Amber bought it anyway. In there, she discovered weird things that is shaped like slabs of stone. First there is Uralt, a wise and intelligent thing that has great knowledge of history. Then Rush, a crazy stone that is very swift. He/it can switch from serious person to crazy person. Then Athru, an arrogant thing that is capable of 'unnatural things' and power. The thing claimed to be weakened by an 'incident' and stay in the store for sanctuary.

Amber cleaned up the store and reopen it. She gets a few customers now and then but the 'things' are causing mischief and sometimes spook the customers away. Amber tell them to be quite now and then but soon things are getting out of hand and began to talk in a spooky way. Amber, spooked, goes on to find Browns and asks about the things.

Browns tell her that they were once just one thing, a thing named Arthur. A few years back, Arthur separated into three personalities, which is a divided and weakened version of Arthur's true form. Uralt and Athru were two personalities that is always against each other, while Uralt is the maddened Arthur's true mind. Browns told her to speak with Rush about this, although Amber was a bit unsure because Rush is a madman.

Rush told her that the only way to reintegrate the trio is to get them basking in sunlight. But Uralt and Athru knows of their plot and decides to take care of them once and for all. They went on to chase Amber and Rush around the city. It was night btw.

During the chase, they managed to stall time and the sun appeared from the horizon. Rush tried to reintegrate them again, but they resisted. Amber convinced them that only the wisdom of Uralt and Athru manages to chase her and Rush effectively, and combined together they will be a force to be reckoned with.

They meld again and become the one and true Arthur, both wise and powerful. Arthur decides to fly around the world like he used to before he was separated.





guys, any thoughts please? this is for a school task.

You have a lot of spelling errors. Mostly about not using past simple when needed. Also, don't call the incarnations "things". It just sounds unprofessional. Other than that, it sounds... decent I guess. You need to read more to have a better imagination.

remember how you need a foundation to build a house?

same goes for story creation.

your foundation should be your antagonists, protagonists, situation, plot and landscape.

when building any foundation you start with one brick and add more. the same goes for story creation

for example

landscape:

flesh it out, start small and slowly add more

start:

shop owned by johnston brown who was old now owned by amber. shop old as well.

now you add to it

shop is dilapidated and old bad paint covered it. lots of things wrong. owned by new girl called amber. Johnston is an old man who sold it too her.

now you flesh out the extras with descriptions and you put them in a good order

The dilapidated shop used to be owned by a quiet and reserved old man who went by the name Johnston brown. Its façade was less then pleasing to the eye with multiple cracks in the mortar and the coat of paint that spider'd in a maddening pattern across it looked like it hadnt been reapplied in decades. Amber wasn't, and still isn't, the type to make impulse purchases but when returning to the old street she used to live on, a wave of nostalgia swept across her and she felt compelled to go inside and inquire about the shop. In hindsight this probably wasn't her best idea.


now you do the same for the rest and BOOM you have a strong foundation which you can build off of :D

Step 1: thesaurus.com

Step 2: a number of conventions errors. I'm not going to directly do your homework for you; find them yourself.

You have an outline for ideas. That is, your story lacks any depth or causation. Not trying to be mean, just saying you need better transitions and a flow.

Focus on whatever part you like the most first. While I'm not a big fan, JK Rowling wrote the manuscript for the ending to the Deathly Hallows with some of her earliest work on Harry Potter.

Read more, more, more. C.S. Lewis, G.R.R. Martin, Bradbury, Asimov, Clarke, Tolkien are all at the top of my list.

the plot is not fluid and extremely easy to see through. I mean the moment I saw the stone thingy I knew you were going to join them together.And that's not a problem quite honestly, it's the writing style.

I mean ,you don't just lay out the plot of your story in front of the readership, you take them on a journey and slowly unveil the story.


Read stuff.


You scrublet how could you ;_;

I'm crying Kody. kappa

Don't forgive me ;_;

never forgive


never forget



kappa

When i see ayy lmao, i can always hazard a guess that OP is Unscathed.

You need to read stuff.

Thanks a lot for the advice everyone :D Last night I slept too early and forgot to continue the story

And I really do need to read more. Trouble is i have no experience in analyzing stories. I read a book... Then im calling a book great without justifiable reasons. Same goes for movies. See movie, call it good. Next thing i know the whole interwebs are calling it ****.

Again thanks a lot :D