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Forge of Creation #3 - Voting !

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Forum » Hero & Item Ideas » Forge of Creation #3 - Voting ! 44 posts - page 2 of 5
Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 13, 2014 8:31am | Report
So my notebook crashed after I reviewed for 30 mins or so, and I probably gonna post mine later.
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 13, 2014 8:58am | Report
So I got a little grumpy after the previous crash, so the marks may not be better. Sorry guys :(

Bear in mind that I am quite harsh at scores for originalities and coherence. No offence please.




Thread

R: 8.5
L: 8.5
O: 7.5
C: 8.5

Fine relations and lenght, though the idea is kinda unoriginal, although I quite liked it. However, the orientation and climax difference is kinda overwhelming.


Terathiel

R: 8
L: 9
O: 7.5
C: 9

I love classic stories like this, with the reputation and all. However, its a bit unoriginal IMO and the part where he puts and eye on his tusks is a little gory, and I would like it a little bit more if you used the word "pride"


Porygon

R: 9
L: 5
O: 7
C: 8.5

Cool story, but yet again a little unoriginal. I love the vocabularies (i cant get 'plethora' out of my mind), but the lenght is too much. I love how you used a council of mages, though.


Yzreel

R: 10
L: 9
O: 9
C: 9

I love this story, really. And you also gave a good lenght, unique idea, and 'The First Day' is a part of the lore I dont even know, and using forgotten lores made it better. The only bad thing is how you didnt mention 'Olympus' as a name.



Smuggles (E're we go)

R: 6
L: 3
O: 9
C: 6

Very original, I must say. However, you changed Oglodi to Orcs, which is a big deal assuming this contest is about Dota2 (I love the reference to Counter Helix, though). Its too long, and there are many punctuations and capital errors.



Cuttleboss

R: 8.5
L: 8
O: 7.5
C: 8

A simple read, actually. Decent relationship with the universe, and the lenght is good. But once again, idea is unoriginal. Coherence arent that high/low because of simplicity, but why is the bugs defending an artifact of Avernus? A little overwhelming.



TheSofa

R: 8
L: 8
O: 8.5
C: 7.5

This has great potential, really. But if you add another story inbeetween the two paragraphs, the marks are obviously better



KoDyAbAbA (geez your name is too hard to write)

R: 8
L: 7
O: 8
C: 5

Sorry, but the story is dull and boring. The originalities and relationships are fine, but the lenght and the story is a little out of the line with evil Beastmaster




BKvoiceover (but i gave u permission to make songs/poems)

R: 8
L: 5
O: 8.5
C: 9

Good relations and originalities, although it was quite long. It was a little overwhelming how he destroyed his own world by doing what he was supposed to do.



kkoopman3

R: 9
L: 10
O: 7.5
C: 9

Simple and to the point. I think this story fits a Dota2 lore pretty well. The part where he was banished due to his face is a little overwhelming, though.


I'm done. Phew!
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by TheSofa » October 13, 2014 9:16am | Report
Unscathed
ThreadOfFate
Terathial
Porygon361
Yzreel
Smuggels
Cuttleboss
TheSofa (me)
KoDyAbAbA
BKVoiceover
kkoopman3
Therapy??

HOLD ON A SECOND

Therapy, you aren't supposed to vote because you didn't submit anything. Your name wasn't on the original post. :C

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by BKvoiceover » October 13, 2014 11:53am | Report
btw, voting closes on Wednesday correct? If so, everyone get your votes in pronto. You've got 2 days.

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 14, 2014 1:39am | Report
@TheFineSofa I think he is permitted. In the last FoC, some people not entering the contest is permitted to vote. Go ask Wulfstan.
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Wulfstan » October 14, 2014 4:16am | Report
Yes, he is allowed. Voting closes tomorrow people, are you doing this again to me?

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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by porygon361 » October 14, 2014 4:28am | Report
Unscathed

R: 7.5 (would have been higher, but the verse "The Galaxy empty/the stars ceased to be" suggested that there were no more stars, while in other lores there is mention of constellations, indicating the presence of said stars)
L: 8
O: 9 (the poem style earned you extra points :D)
C: 7 (some grammatical errors here and there)



ThreadOfFate

R: 7 (sorry thread, but voice lines from other heroes and Chaos Knight himself say that he is a fundamental, yet there is no mention of what a fundamental is or does.)
L: 8 (gr8 m8, would r8 8/8)
O: 8
C: 8



Terathiel

R: 8
L: 9
O: 7
C: 9 (great vocabulary and grammar gave you a boost :P)



Yzreel

R: 9 (Zeus not being a true god does explain why he is just as weak as a mortal hero. Lore also articulates well his pride and arrogance.)
L: 8
O: 7
C: 7 (generally ok, with the presence of some minor grammatical errors and repetition)



Smuggels

R: 7.5
L: 5 (Wall-of-Text style makes it fairly difficult to read)
O: 9 (strange but interesting)
C: 7 (10/10 would read again, if it weren't for many minor errors. Would still read again though.)



Cuttleboss

R: 9 (great connections to the dota universe all around)
L: 8 (I like stories of this length)
O: 8
C: 6 (strange sentence structures and grammar)



TheSofa

R: 6.5 (not many references to the dota 2 universe, not much explanation as to why the bear became a spirit bear after dying)
L: 7
O: 8
C: 8



KoDyAbAbA

R: 6 (Beastmaster isn't a hunter in dota 2, he is some animal-loving Bear Grylls guy.)
L: 6 (kinda long)
O: 8
C: 5 (perhaps you should add some necessary spaces and capitalise the first letter of the first word in a sentence.)



BKvoiceover

R: 8
L: 5 (very long, like mine)
O: 9 (love the whole story!)
C: 9 (Woooooooooooooooooo)



kkoopman3

R: 7
L: 7 (a little short. You could have at least depicted the accident which caused Dazzle's disfigurement.)
O: 7
C: 8



Now that I'm here, I'd like to inform you guys that I will be less active on the site once again due to my year-end examinations. They're really important and I've got to study hard. Wish me luck!

P.S.

Hero Idea Archive


Newest Idea: Ibrik, the Tormentor

And the newest in my series of hero guides...

My Guide to the Grandest Magus of All


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by Unscathed » October 14, 2014 4:54am | Report
@Porygon Hope you came back, pory!

In the meantime... one less contender removed :)
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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by kkoopman3 » October 14, 2014 1:45pm | Report
Unscathed

R: 8.5
L: 7
O: 7.5
C: 9

As for the relationship, you did mention Enigma and his abilities but it wasn't tied back to the DotA universe so well. It also felt a bit short, not that I'm one to talk based on my lore.


ThreadOfFate

R: 6
L: 9.5
O: 9
C: 9.5

Not really feeling the tie in to the DotA universe. That's it. Really good otherwise!


Terathiel

R: 9.5
L: 8
O: 9
C: 10

Loving the mention of Tusk. The lore was also very well written and organized.


Porygon361

R: 8
L: 6
O: 10
C: 9

As you said, it was a bit lengthy.


Yzreel

R: 8.5
L: 9.5
O: 10
C: 7.5

The grammar was a bit dodgy, but, as usual, very well done Yzreel!


Smuggels

R: 6
L: 5
O: 9
C: 8.5

This is basically a mini novel. I also felt that there was WAAAAY too much dialogue included in the backstory of this character.


Cuttleboss

R: 9.5
L: 10
O: 8
C: 6.5

I realize that English probably isn't your first language but I'm a stickler for grammar. Very nice tie-ins with the lamp and Nyx, though.


TheSofa

R: 8.5
L: 8
O: 8
C: 9.5

A bit short I felt. I would have liked some fleshing out of the battle, even though it wasn't the point of the lore. Good relationship to his summon spirit bear ability.


KoDyAbAbA

R: 9
L: 9
O: 9.5
C: 8

Very nice background of Magnus. I like the Beastmaster mention.


BKvoiceover

R: 8
L: 7
O: 9
C: 8

This one was a bit long. That's basically all I have to say about it.

kkoopman3


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Permalink | Quote | PM | +Rep by TheSofa » October 14, 2014 4:46pm | Report
TheSofa wrote:

Unscathed
ThreadOfFate
Terathial
Porygon361
Yzreel
Smuggels
Cuttleboss
TheSofa (me)
KoDyAbAbA
BKVoiceover
kkoopman3
Therapy??

HOLD ON A SECOND

Therapy, you aren't supposed to vote because you didn't submit anything. Your name wasn't on the original post. :C

Refer to original post. I crossed of some more.

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